and i cant stand everything around me
i just find life so boring
for once in my life i actually find lifemeaningless
get what i mean?
i know its childish
trying to snap out of it
its like the same routine
a cycle that never ends
and im getting bored of living life
i want to live it a different way
i thnk i watched too many soapoperas
really dont know what the hell is wrong with me
bth- who cares anyway
everyone has their own life to live right?
yahh- and i just noticed
that i cared so much what people thought of me
but i realised that all of us have to grow out of it one day
so why not now?
i think im forcing myself to grow up too fast
maybe im jjust thinking too much
just keep thinking about non-sensical things
makes me hallucinate
im practically becoming mad
and the letter
its okay. i understand
im failing in almost everything
if its not failing its deproving
i just feel so dman freaking depressed
but the thing is i dont study at all!!!!
now you know why i say im mad?=))
ahhass- i even break out into peals of laughter
for no reason...
i guess i overreacted too much
too my dad's and sisters words
but i have to agree that they did wake me up from my childish world
i guess i like it this way
im such a sadist
depriving myself for no reason
yahh-
thanks for listning bell
though we dont talk much
but thanks for everything
and glad you met dora
i dont care much about chioness now

dont think it really matters much in the real world
so just trying to like
concentrate on my studies
hope i do well and go to a good jc
dont think much about kelly

its just a passing phase
reminicse on the past
was a stupid thing to do
espeically over this sorta thing
it just disturbs me
it irks me when i think about it
i still act normal
just dont feel normal yeahh?
thanks again-

friendsalways-